~

Artist Statement

Guy, could you paint like that now, because you're not going to fight against this aberration I had when snorkelling on the viewer with their restricted ends, as I want, in my work? Whatever the case, the ‘hermeneutic substance’, the significantly readable aspect of my experience with her work strives to oscillate between the pleasure of thinking these things and other things. I think now I’ve forgotten how to shoot friends or other animals not of my kind. I am the creature I always knew I could not have been made possible through technology. My relationship with 'Flowers and Leaves' evolved over time, at a time when it is perhaps our nearest approach to a lesser degree. I couldn't do major works more or less connected with an autonomous streak. And for most of all the spiritual relations between all of these cases the lines are in the studio references of the production of the masters. Today, less than 12% of fine art, even though there is a diptych among many--one image was always held strongly in mind. The simplest marbling technique, 'stone patterning' seemed most appropriate for the finest papers in the correspondence of all art. So he, I, the artist, accumulated, incorporated and orchestrated. His/my world became regular and marked measures.

~

Wait what? What did you just read?

I ask myself the same thing after I read a lot of real-life artist statements too similar to the above.

You Can Draw These From a Hat Because It's All Farce

It's okay. It's supposed to be farce. Exactly like too much similar writing about art is not--not intentionally anyway.

Folks have studied and named the fugly beast which is such writing. It is International Art English, or IAE.

Good and Bad Artist Statements

A good artist statement may be:

• Optional: if it is better that there is no statement, please make none
• Clear and accessible
• Usefully informative or descriptive of the art in away that may not be obvious to the observer, but which improves their experience or appreciation of the work upon learning.

A bad artist statement probably:

• Lacks any of those qualities
• Is conceived for any of countless bad reasons which all artists should say no to
• Perhaps at worst profanely anoints and separates The Opaqueonaut: in reality the artist turned fool, but too few people see the emperor's clothes

How This Works

This page randomly selects and serves pre-generated farcical artist statements, many of which were created with computer assistance; for example by statistical sentence recombobulation: training an AI on actual IAE, then having it gurgitate similar stuff.

The statements, being AI-generated, are by nature (and if human-created, by dedication) in the Public Domain.

To get another statement, reload the page.

This "statement" is from this source file:

ahdzG8ubgtCwBmxZYKHW_generated_IAE_gibberish__2016_01_02__03_27_56__412373.txt

This page doubles as an API. To get a plain-text statement without this explanation, call the page with any GET variable declared, like this:

http://earthbound.io/data/gibberish-artist-statements/index.php?gib=florf

How to Contribute

To contribute to these entertainments, clone the git repository, do your stuff and submit a pull request.

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