~

Artist Statement

This is a testimonial as part of a representation into discrete points of light that lead to the Louvre, via the Internet. I left Montreal the same way computers do, when we are witnessing the end of tobacco as a commercial artist and I remember keeping canvas primed with spittle.

~

Wait what? What did you just read?

I ask myself the same thing after I read a lot of real-life artist statements too similar to the above.

You Can Draw These From a Hat Because It's All Farce

It's okay. It's supposed to be farce. Exactly like too much similar writing about art is not--not intentionally anyway.

Folks have studied and named the fugly beast which is such writing. It is International Art English, or IAE.

Good and Bad Artist Statements

A good artist statement may be:

• Optional: if it is better that there is no statement, please make none
• Clear and accessible
• Usefully informative or descriptive of the art in away that may not be obvious to the observer, but which improves their experience or appreciation of the work upon learning.

A bad artist statement probably:

• Lacks any of those qualities
• Is conceived for any of countless bad reasons which all artists should say no to
• Perhaps at worst profanely anoints and separates The Opaqueonaut: in reality the artist turned fool, but too few people see the emperor's clothes

How This Works

This page randomly selects and serves pre-generated farcical artist statements, many of which were created with computer assistance; for example by statistical sentence recombobulation: training an AI on actual IAE, then having it gurgitate similar stuff.

The statements, being AI-generated, are by nature (and if human-created, by dedication) in the Public Domain.

To get another statement, reload the page.

This "statement" is from this source file:

P9dSTn3yKPeyha6YHAcw_generated_IAE_gibberish__2016_01_06__23_10_47__964886.txt

This page doubles as an API. To get a plain-text statement without this explanation, call the page with any GET variable declared, like this:

http://earthbound.io/data/gibberish-artist-statements/index.php?gib=florf

How to Contribute

To contribute to these entertainments, clone the git repository, do your stuff and submit a pull request.

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