I horde all text. This is why. I found this buried in email I imported from ancient folders. In it, I troll my first internet service provider, Sisna.
I don't remember the context of this email. It was apparently a thing where you email a text and it posts on some web site somewhere. Sadly, the following was rejected. Back-posted here to the original date of send.
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Article rejected, un-authorized poster of alexhall@sisna.com
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Message-ID: <3F83A78A.C174D5F4@sisna.com>
Date: Tue, 07 Oct 2003 22:58:34 -0700
From: Alex and/or Tia Hall
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.79 [en] (Win98; U)
X-Accept-Language: en
MIME-Version: 1.0
To: customerservice@sisna.com, customerservice@ikano.com
Subject: other fun things
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Dear Windows Internet,
When I went to the Sisna website in Utah, you thought I was all dumb,
because you said, "You will be directed to the SISNA location nearest
you." Or, I mean, your page did. And your page represents you. Are
you thinking I'm all dumb? But, I hadn't clicked anything yet, and if I
had, I hadn't typed anything yet, so if I had clicked anything yet, I
hadn't typed anything yet, and I hadn't gone anywhere. Therefore I
would not have gone anywhere yet, and didn't. But, if I was wanting to
go to a Sisna website. Isn't the internet all one? Like, there isn't
any one page that is all on all over all networks. I mean, I think your
page is at one computer. So, really, if you are saying, the Sisna
website nearest me, don't you mean the one that is farthest from me at a
specific location, at the certain time that it is at your machine and I
am seeing it? So, it's all really on one page. There isn't any page
that is nearest me. So don't make me think I'm dumb. You're the one
that's dumb. Man, listen to the way you talk.
Also other fun things are happenning at your site -- like all the news,
and stuff, but I don't really care about The Government or News About
Terrorism. I'm pretty safe, here, at my computer. Unless the porn
wants to get to me. But I'm a good Religous Person, so "it doesn't",
and when it does, well, it's all on accident. Like those lousy popups
at playboy.com. I mean, really, who wants to go there? I didn't. So
anyway, about the news on Terrorism. I don't really care about it, but
I wonder if Al Qaeda is trying to get to my machine. Because I keep
getting all these popups, on, Zone Alarm, saying: "The firewall has
blocked Internet access to your computer (UDP Port 1026) from
61.143.182.138 (UDP Port 30110). Time: 10/2/03 2:11:02 AM" And when I
do a reverse DNS lookup on that IP address, it says "unable to resolve
61.143.182.138" -- but don't you think that if the war in Afghanistan
was resolved, that we would be able to resolve that IP address? I mean,
who are these terrorists, anyway? And what do they want with my
machine? And why can't our government trace their IP addresses? Are
you not cooperating with the government? I mean, the reverse DNS lookup
site is going through your internet site, or machine, isn't it?
So anyway, there are alot more of these IP addresses that I can't trace
to bad guys, but alot of them I can. For example, the IP Address
62.94.66.99 resolves to: ip098-2-8.dialup.edisontel.com, a user on a
domain who scanned a port on my machine to see if it was open and they
could start transferring bad stuff, but I can't yet figure out what the
name of this Al Qaeda User means. Here is a whole big list of the bad
guys trying to get to my machine, from Zone Alarms' port access blockage
log:
ZoneAlarm Logging Client v2.6.362
Windows 98-4.10.2222- A -SP
type,date,time,source,destination,transport
FWIN,2003/09/30,17:02:52 -7:00 GMT,66.68.196.82:0,216.190.13.244:0,ICMP
(type:8/subtype:0)
FWIN,2003/09/30,17:03:35 -7:00
GMT,216.190.10.229:0,216.190.13.244:0,ICMP (type:8/subtype:0)
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:35:42 -7:00
GMT,131.210.94.136:1307,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:37:07 -7:00
GMT,156.34.95.10:1029,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:37:39 -7:00
GMT,68.51.132.102:1331,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:37:58 -7:00
GMT,134.161.78.113:1039,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:38:00 -7:00
GMT,200.171.95.132:63515,216.190.10.69:137,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:38:14 -7:00
GMT,62.163.200.239:1050,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:38:31 -7:00
GMT,140.146.233.32:1057,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:38:37 -7:00
GMT,163.120.196.208:1064,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:39:43 -7:00
GMT,217.17.228.123:1032,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:40:02 -7:00
GMT,138.232.8.139:1042,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:40:04 -7:00
GMT,140.146.226.147:1058,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:41:20 -7:00
GMT,137.36.240.115:3122,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:41:56 -7:00
GMT,66.254.224.198:3054,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:42:21 -7:00
GMT,147.26.236.151:1070,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:42:55 -7:00
GMT,206.128.215.5:1031,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:42:58 -7:00
GMT,66.189.18.125:3593,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:44:16 -7:00
GMT,198.142.204.163:1036,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:44:48 -7:00
GMT,67.20.200.36:1034,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:44:55 -7:00
GMT,137.28.241.121:1132,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:45:41 -7:00
GMT,67.11.179.191:1056,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:45:42 -7:00
GMT,164.107.242.108:1027,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:46:24 -7:00
GMT,68.0.96.29:1038,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:46:57 -7:00
GMT,81.224.113.8:1045,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:47:35 -7:00
GMT,131.210.94.136:1307,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:47:36 -7:00
GMT,64.110.213.20:4379,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:49:53 -7:00
GMT,24.54.176.85:2808,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:50:05 -7:00
GMT,137.36.240.115:3122,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:50:55 -7:00
GMT,137.36.249.80:1040,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:51:54 -7:00
GMT,24.184.79.151:1042,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:51:58 -7:00
GMT,140.146.226.147:1058,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:52:40 -7:00
GMT,134.161.78.113:1039,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:53:22 -7:00
GMT,68.3.90.130:1042,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,01:53:25 -7:00
GMT,193.251.93.8:1035,216.190.10.69:41170,UDP
PE,2003/10/02,02:03:09 -7:00 GMT,Internet Explorer,127.0.0.1:1025,N/A
FWIN,2003/10/02,02:06:18 -7:00
GMT,218.88.142.74:1025,216.190.10.121:137,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,02:07:00 -7:00
GMT,216.190.10.125:0,216.190.10.121:0,ICMP (type:8/subtype:0)
FWIN,2003/10/02,02:11:02 -7:00
GMT,61.143.182.138:30110,216.190.10.121:1026,UDP
FWIN,2003/10/02,02:22:15 -7:00
GMT,62.94.66.99:10336,216.190.10.121:137,UDP
These all happened while I was typing. Lots of baddies are attacking
me, and there were thirty other port scans besides those above before I
started logging them to a text file. It's silly, but at least I've got
a firewall. But on one level, it stinks, and I'd rather they didn't
attack me, so it's time to download those security patches I've been not
downloading, and scan for the viruses I haven't been scanning for. Did
you know that antivirus products, and even some windows maintenance
products, slow down your machine alot? I saw it with my own programs.
When I said that Al Qaeda was trying to get to my computer, I didn't
necessarily mean so. Just if they're bad.
Well, thanks for letting me speak, and if you need any more amusements,
don't look beyond your own page! Ha, Ha!
----alexhall@sisna.com